As human beings, we evolved to avoid things that will kill us. “Is that a sabertooth tiger?! RUN!!!”
This focus on potentially negative things bleeds over from the physical realm into our mental realm. We’re constantly focused on the negative.
“So and so snubbed me.” “That person cut me off!” “Why do I always screw up?!”
We have a predominately negative slant to our thoughts. This burns through the energy you have to build the life you do want! If you’re always focusing on what you don’t want, how are you going to get what you do want?
Short answer, is you’re not.
The good news, however, is you can retrain yourself to focus on the positive.
The predisposition to either focus on negative or positive is a strategy. Change the strategy change the outcome.
With consistent, concentrated effort, you can change the percentage of negative thoughts, and slowly build up the number of positive/encouraging thoughts.
First become aware of the negative patterns you’d like to get rid of.
Just notice them. Become familiar with the way you talk to yourself. Understand the disempowering language you use.
Once you know the negative thoughts are there, you have to break the pattern.
If you’re always saying “You can’t do this. You’ll never get anywhere. You always screw up. Everyone is going to laugh at you. You’re not cut out for this. Why are you even trying? etc etc” The earlier you can cut off this train of negativity, the less energy you’re dedicating to maintaining that negativity.
Supplant Negative with Positive.
If you break the pattern, you have to fill that void with something positive. If you don’t talk to yourself with positive energy, all that negative talk will come right back.
But, this time, you’ll beat yourself up for being bad at being able to be positive!
That’s alright. It happens to the best of us.
Calmly tell yourself, “I understand I let this time get away from me, but starting right NOW I’m going to focus on my goals and make decisions that align with my values, and live a life of integrity!”
Slow and Steady Wins the Race.
As you become more and more adept at this process, you’ll notice the positive changes start to pile up. Don’t expect too much too quickly, and don’t beat yourself up for falling short.
It’s a processes, not a destination. Enjoy the ride!
TL:DR Less velcro for negative thoughts, and more teflon.